"ESFJ" Themes and Relationships

How to use this Personality Type Description

ESFJ Theme

For Facilitator Caretakers, life is a process of accepting and helping others. They enjoy friendly conversations where information—personal and professional—is exchanged to get to know people better. Managing people, at work or at home, is rewarding, even when difficult. They spend a lot of time hearing people out, voicing concerns, and accommodating needs. They genuinely admire the success of everyone and take great pride in the successes of their friends, family, and others in their circle. If they can help them along the way, giving them support and making things easier, they are truly satisfied. To not have contact with people and a sense of belonging is to be cut off from that which truly energizes them.

Their thought processes tend to be relational and sequential. They remember what’s important for the family, the work group, and the community. It is as if they have a filing cabinet of all the specific details they’ve ever learned about the people they know so they can find that information easily to help others, to connect others, and to make them comfortable. The stories they tell about the people they know keep everybody in touch. This talent makes them the quintessential hosts.

In the interpersonal realm, they strive to keep life pleasant, often setting aside their own needs to provide for others and avoid conflict. This can become a problem when others don’t give back some of the care and consideration given. Above all they want to maintain a sense of continuity in their relationships, their family, their business, or the community. Often that continuity is maintained by accounting for costs and protecting resources. Organizing, preparing, and remembering important events show they care just as much as the thoughtful acts they do. These also provide a sense of security and independence.

They are often disappointed by entrepreneurial projects. Sometimes in their desire to help others and be creative, they find themselves stuck doing a lot of hard work with not enough coming back to them.

ESFJ Relationships

For Facilitator Caretakers, relationships are about doing things for each other—sharing a life and caring. Even business relationships are about sharing the life of a business, being a part of something, and creating a feeling of family. They like helping people build something in their lives, whether as friend, parent, or helpmate. Going the extra mile, sacrificing for what will benefit others, and understanding the other person are very important. Often they put the needs of the other person ahead of their own needs, and they can lose themselves to the relationship, often feeling somewhat used. They are very aware of hurting people’s feelings and so may skirt heavy issues. They like listening and helping people with their problems and being very involved. If they have too many loyalties, they may give too much of themselves and stretch themselves too thin. They usually have lots of personal relationships and friends, enjoying lots of interaction.

In their close relationships, they tend toward the traditionally romantic yet spontaneous. Thoughtful gestures, time together, and mutual support are all important. They will have expectations about building something together, working toward a comfortable life, raising a family, or retirement. Sometimes it can be very difficult to get them to confront and move beyond bad relationships because they are so good at smoothing over conflict. They like a gregarious lifestyle and can be very supportive in extending hospitality and bringing people together.

This concludes "Themes and Relationships for ESFJ,"
A Personality Type Description.

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**The Personality Type Description shown above is wholly owned and copyrighted by the authors Linda V. Berens Ph.D. and Dario Nardi Ph.D. and is used herein with their permission.

For a complete set of Personality Type Descriptions by Linda V. Berens and Dario Nardi please see: "The 16 Sixteen Personality Types - Descriptions for Self-Discovery"

*Interaction Styles as developed by Linda Berens, is a powerful lens with which to better understand people. For a complete understanding of Interaction Styles see:
"Understanding Yourself and Others, An Introduction to Interaction Styles"

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